IT'S THE INTERNETS FAULT
by IShipItBitches
Summary: So John was on the internet and Dave caught something John was accidentally doing. WARNINGS: lemon yaoi, if you don't know what it is use google. It knoes EVERYTHING


**Bullshit fanfic of awesome.**

John was waiting for Dave. He was late. By two fucking hours. He was beginning to think he was being ditched. He sighed and got off his bed, stretching out his stiffened muscles after waiting so long. He'd given up on the thought of his friend ever coming. He slowly went over to his computer, logging onto tumblr and then he screamed. What he seen was terrifying. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He cleaned up his glasses and took another look. It was still the same picture.

On his dashboard was unfortunately a picture of Dave ruthlessly fucking John who was helplessly tied to the headboard of his very own bed. He looked at the picture, to his bed, then back at the picture. The picture was burned into his brain. He didn't see his bed. He saw the picture. But he didn't just feel completely disgusted... He felt something else too. He didn't really know what it was though. So he just ignored it and tried to scroll away. 'Oh shit' he thought. The screen crashed on the picture.

The door burst open and Dave ironically entered, his shades covering his eyes. John always wondered what colour they would be. He stood behind John and looked at the computer screen. "Umm... John? Is there something you aren't telling me? Do you actually get off to this crap because that is so fucking un cool and creepy and NOT ironic"

John desperately mashed all the keys on his keyboard in attempts to un crash his computer. But it just made it worse, frozen on the image for a loooong time. "N- No! It's tumblr! Some people are just perverts..."

"You mean like you are?" Dave asked, raising his eyebrows in suspicion. Then his suspicions were answered. "And before you un ironically deny it, I can see your fucking boner. You were going to wank, weren't you, Egbert?"

'Oh... So that other feeling was arousal...' He didn't know what to do. He just looked down ashamed, blushing, before seeing how much his dick grew from the experience and looked straight up at his Nic Cage poster. He looked at anything that weren't Dave. Anything. This continued until he found something else; a change of topic. "You were late."

"Ironically late... And don't change the subject, Egbert" He said his name... sexually? He guessed that anyway, since his cock just twitched with even more arousal. John wriggled, hoping for friction in a way that wouldn't be so obvious. But there were no friction, and it was very obvious. "Here... let me help you with that..." He said smoothly as his soft hand was shoved into the other pants. "Wow... you got so hard, Eggs." He smirked and began rubbing up and down the length of Johns throbbing cock, almost forcing moans out of his mouth.

"Eggs..." He took his hand out of Johns pants. "The only way we can fix your problem is the do what's happening in that picture..." He smirked pulled John onto the bed, slowly, teasingly removing all of his clothes before removing his own.

'Shit shit shit shit what have I gotten into?! He's going to violate me... And I'll like it...' John blushed as he watched Daves body slowly reveal. First, his upper body as he removed his shirt. He had pale skin but he was well built for a 17 year old... He was sexy. 'Damn. I look scrawny compared to him! At least he won't want to eat me...' He grinned like an idiot at his little joke. Dave noticed as he unzipped his pants.

"What the fuck are you grinning at? Looking forward to be fucked?"

"N- No! It's nothing"

"What is it, Eggs?"

"Nothing"

"I know when you're lying. If you don't tell me I'll just leave you here all hard and bonerfied like a fucking horny rock"

John whimpered. "I- I was looking forward to b- being fucked..."

"You really are a slut" John frowned at the comment, but was quickly cheered up when Dave got rid of the pants. He had really nice legs. Really. Nice. Legs. "...What are you staring at? I haven't even taken off my boxers yet"

"Hurry up and get them off... It isn't fair, I'm completely naked" Dave laughed and sat down on a chair after pulling it beside the bed.

"I don't have to do anything you tell me... I'm topping you..." He pulled John over his lap as he explained his power he had over the shorter one. "I think you owe me an apology, Egbert~" He almost sang the words. He didn't actually sing them though. That's un ironic. Striders don't do that. But as he did, he brought his hand down to Johns fleshy bum and spanked him hard until it bruised. It took a lot of spanking.

"F- Fine..." He spoke between pants. "I'm sorry, SIR" He spat the last word, mockingly but Dave just smirked and delivered one last hard spank making John whimper underneath him. Then he was rolled onto the bed, and just like in the picture, he was helplessly tied to the headboard.

"I hope you have lube..."

"Why would a seventeen year old fucking VIRGIN have lube?!"

"Don't talk to me like that. You'll just get spanked again. And I guess we're going to have to do this dry..."

"What do you m- OW THAT HURTS!" He felt unimaginable pain as Daves massive cock went un lubricated into Johns previously untouched butt hole. Tears started to nest in his brown eyes.

"Sorry..." He kissed his cheek and let him wriggle around until he was more comfortable. Then he started slowly thrusting in and out, making John moan with pleasure. When he heard these arousing noises Dave just wanted to fuck the darker boy even harder. And he did. Gradually getting harder and faster, it started to hurt John but that ended quickly when Dave rammed into that sensitive bundle sperm-producing nerves, making John scream his lungs out and cum all over the sexy blondes stomach. And Dave shortly followed, screaming out his own release and collapsing onto the smaller body beneath him.

"Dave?"

"What?"

"I love you..." He blushed.

"Me too, Eggs..."

The computer finally un crashed and spazzed out due all the scrolling and relentless key mashing. They both laughed.

~Hours into the future~

"Agh... My arse hurts, you idiot"

"You should've been prepared for it... You know it's gonna be big when it's called Dave Strider..."

"You named your dick after yourself?"

"NO"

"..." He stared at Dave

"I'll help you get up..." He grabbed his hands and slowly pulled him up. "Hm... I don't think you'll ever be able to walk the same ever again..."

"Shut up"

"Calm down. I just wanted snuggles." He picked John up and took him downstairs, putting him on the sofa. "I'll even watch that shitty movie with the retarded bunny."

Johns face lit up. "YAY" Dave put on the movie and cuddled up to him. About half way through the movie, he fell asleep out of boredom, but John however, was wide awake in anticipation over a movie he's seen over thirty-two times in his life, still cuddling his boyfriend. When the movie finished he kissed his forehead. "Good night..." And he went to sleep in strong, safe arms.


End file.
